TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING – BORROWED STRESS.

Aug 17, 2018         7452         2 Comments        

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

Stress is always about situations, circumstances and conditions you find yourself in, that are quite exerting.

Life, you’ll agree with me is by nature challenging. Anything you want out of life, you must earn it. You must pay the price in sacrifice, labour or value exchange. In this life nothing good comes easy. This simply means an appropriate degree of pressure or stress is necessary for us to be stirred up and motivated to achieve things in life.

However, when strain and tension endured in order to acquire, achieve or accomplish anything in life becomes excessive, abnormal and extreme, it becomes dangerous and destructive. Many young people today are struggling with ill health as a result of stress. High blood pressure has become quite rife amongst very young people. This of course is majorly tied to a stressful life style.

But let’s think together this morning. That situation, that matter, that issue stressing you so much and tinkering with your health, is it really a do or die situation? Is it a matter of necessity or sheer desperation on your path? Is your stressful life a matter of need or a matter of desperation in life? If you let go of that pursuit, that ambition or quest, would it cost you your life? Let’s face it, the desperate chase may already be toying with your life, your health and longevity, so what about letting go, will it still cost you your life, health and longevity?

Tell me, are you holding on to that very stressful employment because you’re afraid of losing your source of income? You’re permitting, abuse, misuse and overuse by your employer simply because you’re afraid of losing your job? But do you know it’s possible your desperation has little to do with losing your job or income and it’s more about your status and your ego?

Friends, family and the society respect and admire you because of where you work – that’s what you don’t want to lose – the respect and admiration from people. The status is your problem. The oil company big boy, banker big girl, multinational big boy – that may be your real problem. It is not really your income, I tell you this, I have a friend, she sells hair extensions, she goes from office to office and has got customers all over key areas in Lagos, this lady believe me makes over a million naira in profit every month! She doesn’t have a boss, she wakes up when it’s right and goes home when she’s tired. Her products are in her car, she doesn’t even have a shop. She’s happy, peaceful and stress free in life. Many employees don’t earn a million a month. Dear friend, holding on to that employment that is gradually killing you is a matter of choice.

Many of us hold on to stressful situations and circumstances because of ambition, competition, desperation and the opinion of men. We embrace dangerous lifestyles and exerting mental and emotional conditions to create an impression, live up to expectations and generally flow socially. It’s amazing to even hear some people brag and boast about sleeping in the office or spending many hours in traffic every day. I assure you, this is not the key to wealth; it’s the thief of your health. Intelligence, creativity and great results are the modern ways to promotion and wealth not extreme hard work; it’s outdated.

Another major stressor for many of us today is that desperation for control. We want to control others. We have certain expectations from friends, lovers, spouses, relatives, parents and children. You want your friends to treat you the way you’d treat them, you want your wife to treat you with proper respect, you want your husband to love you in a particular way, you want your boyfriend to treat you in certain ways, you want your girlfriend to behave just as you wish, you want your children to act and behave like you always tell them, dear friend, nothing can be more stressful and emotionally tormenting like trying to control people with free will. People will do what they want in your presence or behind your back depending on how much regard they have for you. Stop trying to coerce or force people to do what you want, rather advice, express your hurt, disappointment and displeasure then let it go. Don’t hold on, even God does not force anybody. Free people I beg, just pray for them.

When you let people go and let them be you will find relief. Refuse to get upset or angry, don’t go the extra mile if it will be hurtful when they don’t do the same for you. Just do your best and leave the rest. Don’t let anybody, no matter how close cause you high blood pressure. Love yourself and love your life and choose to stay healthy.

Truth is in this life, many times our stress are borrowed, the source is not in us, they are transferred from other people and other places, they are founded in how we want people to see us and how we want people to treat us. The day you set yourself free from the opinion and judgement of men, your stress level will drop drastically.

I’d like to state the following as ways to reduce your stress level drastically:

  1. Know your capacity. Don’t exceed your capacity especially in living standards. Live within your means while working hard to increase your income. Living beyond your means will stress you to pieces.
  2. Set your milestones in life. Develop a roadmap and tell yourself when you would be able to do or embark on certain things. Don’t buy a car you didn’t plan towards, don’t buy a land you didn’t plan towards, don’t do things because your so called mates are doing them. Plan your own life, move at your pace.
  3. Grow your capacity before taking on a new challenge. Don’t bite more than you can chew. What you can do you can do, what you cannot do you, you cannot do yet, take your time to grow, growing is not a crime, sudden wealth or breakthrough can be destructive, grow!
  4. Let go of upsets and offences. Don’t be desperate to prove anything to anyone who thought nothing of you and made it obvious. Let them go, let it go, you’re not in this world for them, they’re not your God, let it go. Prove only to yourself and no one else.
  5. Be thankful. Never forget what you have by focusing only on what you lack. A life of gratitude is a life of peace and ease. Count your blessing and be grateful.

2 responses to “TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING – BORROWED STRESS.”

  1. Banke says:

    Great and enduring tips! Thanks.

  2. Moyo says:

    Deep and thought provoking. You painted a part of my recent experience about employment. Learn, work or improve when necessary but be who you are. Opinion of others shouldn’t determine your thread in life.

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