As a psychologist and a student of humanity, I’ve come to realize that our lives are as happy and fulfilling as our interpretation and understanding of things.
Simply put, things or situations are actually not responsible for our moods, emotions and feelings passé. Our interpretation of these things determine if we will be happy or otherwise should they occur.
For example, I know some women who can do anything right not to birth children of their own, and I know some women, though able, have made up their minds never to have kids and they’re happy. I know some women who attend many religious vigils, mountain top prayer meetings and consult spiritualists regularly on the account of wanting a life partner – husband. And I know some ladies who are under intense pressure daily by very mouthwatering suitors to marry them and they are saying no, they’ve made up their minds to remain single for life.
I know some people praying, crying and desperately seeking employment in any organization and I know some people today, no matter what you offer them, they will never engage in paid employment, they can never work for anybody, they want to be self-employed and they are doing well and happy.
I know some people with 10 million bank balance yet, they can’t sleep, they’re worried and anxious, with 10 million they’re broke already, and I know some people, with half a million bank balance they’re on top of the world – they’re super rich in their own view.
Dear friend, being happy, sad, worried, anxious, depressed or excited cannot be separated from your understanding, mindset, dreams, expectations and interpretation of things in your life.
This means life is less of what happens around you, it’s more of what’s happening within you.
This simply means if anyone can control the way you think and see life, such a one can control your life choices and decisions. If you permit anyone influence your thinking successfully, they can actually manipulate you to their advantage if they’re selfish and you’re naive.
Many of us today are victims of all sorts of manipulation and exploitation due to life’s frustrations and the desperation for answers. We were mostly raised by inexperienced parents and care givers who passed on some wrong principles and outdated philosophes about life that didn’t fit our season hence, mostly failed, consequently most of us became disillusioned, confused and perplexed about life and what next to do. This situation, unfortunately, made us vulnerable to expert manipulators who many times lie to us, tell half-truths and sugar coat toxic ideologies and concepts with the potential to further plunge us into hardship, poverty and nothingness and in fact, we are glad to believe, accept and embrace these limiting ideologies.
For example, being told going to school and obtaining a formal education and a certificate will make you rich or successful in life is not a complete truth. People are not rich or successful or outstanding because of formal education and a certificate. People are rich, relevant and successful because after their formal education, they continued with self-education, relevant exposure, continuous improvement, smart interactions and regular studying of trends and opportunities. They refused to become obsolete and archaic in what they know and can do. They are hardworking, productive and knowledgeable thinkers.
If anyone wants to take advantage of you in an unfortunate condition even after your formal education, they’ll tell you, your unemployment, lack of promotion and inability to hold on to a job is a spiritual problem. Hence you need serious prayers, prolonged fasts, sacrificial giving and dedication to ministry and all will be well, you’ll become victorious.
You’re most likely going to believe them because its human nature to reject responsibility and hold someone or something else responsible for our failures. So rather than spend good time studying, developing yourself, upgrading your skills, improving your office place behaviours, you’d prefer to fight it spiritually and eventually remain the same or worse of year after year because you truly don’t have a spiritual problem, you perhaps have a wisdom problem.
My dear friend, as this year is drawing to a close, for the first time in forever, choose to tell yourself the truth. Be true to yourself and your maker. Perhaps your challenges in life is not a spiritual problem. Somehow, somewhere in a corner of your mind you know this is true, but you want God to solve your problems based on what you choose to believe and your own prescription not how things really are, so you spiritualize everyday human issues wisdom can easily solve.
Maybe you can’t seem to hold down a job, your bosses don’t always like you and your colleagues can’t stand you. Hence as soon as you get a job, you get fired. Rather than think it’s a spiritual attack, have you considered your own attitude to others and to the job itself in your numerous place of employment? Are you a selfish employee, always looking for how to dodge responsibility, passing the buck, cheating other colleagues, taking advantage of your employer, rejecting extra work, a habitual late comer, incompetent, insincere, a gossip, a traitor, pulling others down, an expert in eye service but very good at sharing religious handbills, praying in the office, always playing gospel music at work and using office internet and data to stream religious programs and download spiritual messages? Friend, if this is your way, you don’t have spiritual problems, you have work attitude issues and believe me if I’m your employer, no matter how prayerful you are, I’ll fire you successfully in one week no matter how hard you pray or fast.
Dear friend, let no one lie to you, favour can never replace labour in any progressive company in this world. Any employer that places favouring employees over hard work will soon kill the business. If you want me to favour you as my employee, show me your labour first, then be of good character, then favour even unmerited will follow.
Ladies and gentlemen, prayer is good, fasting is good, retreat is good, spiritual conventions are good but after all these if there are no improvements or significant transformation in your life and results, something is fundamentally wrong with your case.
Maybe it’s time for you to do your path. Before this year is over, take a day and think about your life thus far. For once, believe you don’t have a spiritual problem and be objective and true to yourself. Are you knowledgeable in your profession? Are you up to date in capacity and skills? Do you truly deserve the promotion and income you’re praying for considering your performance and real competence? Do you have modern work capacity or you’re archaic in your methods and expect favour to make up for failure? Are you an honest person, or you play games with your work and employment? Are you jealous of your employer, your boss and other colleagues you feel are less religious hence don’t deserve their blessings, and you secretly wish for their downfall? Dear friend are you kind, considerate, respectful, loving, passionate about work, hardworking and given to continuous improvement? Do you help other colleagues, support the business vision; make sacrifices for the business and diligent at what you do? Dear friend. It’s time to tell yourself the truth. Why not do it differently this time. Apply not just spirituality but intelligence in making your life better and see if your results won’t be different this time. As you enter 2018, be different in your ways, not just spiritual, apply intelligence and character.
Dear friends, FRONTIERS BUSINESS ACADEMY 2018 Lagos and Abuja registration is still ongoing. You need a coach in your business or career, all champions and super performers have coaches. You don’t have all the answers and ideas, get expert knowledge and advice and also interact with other brilliant participants to share views and experiences in 2018 to transform your business and your career. If you need a profitable change, make the right move. Call 0706 349 6599 for registration details. For more inspiring content of this talk show simply visit my website, its www.muyiwaafolabi.com. Till I come your way again, same time, same station tomorrow, for another episode of your inspiring talk show, my name is Muyiwa Afolabi, please enjoy your day.