To betray is to expose one’s friend, group or country to an enemy. It is also to break a promise, to be unfaithful, to break faith, play someone falsely or to let down.
Betrayal is a very painful experience. As humans, we simply can’t depend or rely on ourselves alone for everything we need in life, you would always need someone, always have to count on someone, always would have to depend on someone; if not for survival, you will need people for your progress, promotion, elevation and advancement in life. You can’t keep everything up on your own by yourself, you would always need people, your parents, your siblings, relatives, friends, associates, your colleagues, people you’ve helped in time past, your spouse, your children, even your country- you will always need people.
Betrayal is not just about anyone disappointing you or letting you down, it’s when people you trust, depend on and least expect let you down, throw you to the dogs, sell you out and expose you to your enemies. It’s when people you expect to cover you fail to do so, it’s when people you’ve given your all to and done so much for suddenly turn against you when you needed them most, betrayal is more than just being disappointed, it’s being disappointed by people you think would never disappoint you. Betrayal is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. For Audio Version Click here
So I read in a book, a true story that happened very many years ago, in a city called Samaria. This great city somewhere in the Middle East thousands of years ago was under attack by a stronger force. In ancient times, walls around the city were a major security measure and the people actually brought in all they’ll need for survival for a long enough season and they shut the city gates and guarded it in order to prevent any invasion by the enemy. This big city one day, suddenly came under attack by a superior and more powerful enemy, and this enemy, not able to break through the walls of the city decided to lay a siege at the city gates cutting off the inflow or outflow of needed essential resources; hoping when the people run out of critical needs, they would eventually come out of the city and surrender.
The king of this city however was adamant and obstinate, hence when all resources and materials including food ran out, he still wouldn’t surrender the city to this more powerful enemy. Consequently, food ran out and there was great hunger within the walls of the city, and people for days had nothing to eat. The core of this story is about two women, both of them had little kids from undisclosed fathers. In the intensity of the hunger and severe famine, these friends both agreed to kill, cook and eat up each of their children one after another so that they can survive. They went on to kill the first one and they ate it. However, when it was time to kill the second, the mother refused and wouldn’t release her own child to be killed and eaten up. The first woman felt betrayed and the matter was brought to the king to judge, the king was sad and heartbroken about the condition of his people and subsequent actions were taken to end the siege and the famine.
Now I’ve read this true story many times and I’ve heard many people teach about this story from the perspective of the second friend, betraying the first friend by not releasing her own child to be killed and eaten at the peak of severe famine.
But I don’t see that as the real deal, I for one, can’t simply get the picture off my mind – I mean the real betrayal for me is the mother who decided to eat her child and share the flesh with others because of hunger. I would assume a good mother is supposed to lay down her life for her child, not eat up her child. The thought of killing and eating up her child for me is the greatest betrayal, not the friend who refused to carry on with the deal when it was her turn to turn against her own child.
I can imagine, how the hungry one year or two year old, skinny, dirty and hungry child would look up to his mother, weak, tired, feeble; extremely hungry but believing instinctively that as long as mama is here and still alive, I have hope, as long as my mother is here, she’ll do all she can to keep me alive, then he hears his mama call and in his innocent, little mind, in his childish trusting faith, he gathers all the strength left in him to go to mama, expecting she’ll have a little something to keep him going, some food, some water, something, anything he can eat to gain some strength and still be alive, he rose up with hope and confidence, moving expectantly towards his mother, oh, little did he know, he was onwards, unto his death from the hands of the very person, he assumed had the key to his survival, his own mother. And as he moved towards her, looking unto her for an embrace, a hug, a cuddle then perhaps some food, it was a sudden blow that met him from his mother and as he fell at her feet, in shock and disbelieve and great pain, the second blow came, then the third and the fourth and as he crumbled to the floor, blood probably oozing from his cracked skull, ears, nose and mouth, his life ebbing away. In his little mind, he couldn’t understand it, this is my mother, she’s supposed to give me life, not take it away, and as his life slowly came to an end, he must have thought about this life, he would never understand it, his own mother, taking his life? No, he’s safer dead. That my friend is betrayal.
Who has betrayed you? Who has sold you out, who exposed you when you needed cover, who shamed you when you needed protection, who walked out on you when you needed someone to be close, who turned against you when you needed someone to be with you? Who swore to you by God he would always be there and today has walked away, who promised she’d never leave you and today is happy with another? How can you have parents in this world and very much live life like and orphan? How can your siblings be so rich yet you’re so broke and they wouldn’t offer a helping hand? How many people did you help, support, defend, invest in and empower over and over again, and today that you’re in dire need of their help, they no longer know you; they chose not to even remember your name?
You see the pain of betrayal is more in who than what. When your mother, your father, your wife, your husband, your sibling, your best friend, your children and the love of your life sets you up for shame, disgrace, embarrassment and severe heartbreak, forgiveness and recovery is usually very difficult.
Incidentally, the pain of betrayal works more against the person betrayed than the traitor. As long as you keep holding on to the pain of that experience, you will hardly move forward confidently, eagerly and purposefully. The weight of the pain, the sell out and disappointment will hold you down, you would hardly be able to move. Your life, purpose and destiny will be suppressed, stifled, bottled up and contained by the pain of that betrayal.
Dear friend, let go, don’t take it to heart, let them go, release them, it’s in the past and you can’t do anything about it without hurting yourself even more. Leave them, don’t even plan revenge; let karma settle the scores. Let me tell you something, the best way to respond and react to this betrayal is to be successful. Focus all your energy on recovery and choose to become extremely successful. Be big legitimately, make name, be very rich, be famous, be popular, be powerful and relevant till all who betrayed you start seeking you for favour and help. Let them eat from your hands subsequently in life. That’s sweet revenge.
Let that man go, let the babe go, let the hurt go, regather yourself and choose to advance, become big as you dream and let your life shame all who set you up for failure. Success is the best response to betrayal, dear friend, make sure you succeed, that’s how to deal with betrayal.